When ignorance about breastfeeding coincides with an irrational fear of terrorists, what do you get?
A very nasty scene at a ritzy New York Country Club, that’s what!
This is exactly what Belgian diplomat Tom Neijens and his wife Roseline Remans discovered when they stopped by the Metropolis Country Club in White Plains, New York on June 8, 2013 and inquired about having lunch.
Club employees permitted the family to dine on the terrace despite the fact that they weren’t members, whereupon Remans began to discreetly breastfeed her daughter Luka at the table.
Neijens, first secretary of the Belgium Mission to the UN, told the New York Post that a female employee of the club quickly interrupted Roseline’s perfectly legal and proper feeding of her baby with this sharp rebuke:
“Please leave immediately, you are disturbing the members!”
When Neijens protested and said it would only take a few minutes, the female staffer insisted that Remans finish in the restroom.
Understandably incredulous at the blatant ignorance on display at such a high end establishment, Mr. Neijens inquired why a baby would be asked to have lunch in the restroom when adults are not.
The Greenburgh Police Department arrived minutes later with Detective Scott Harding apparently yelling, “Close the doors!” with two other diners ordered to leave the terrace.
Mr. Neijens described the chaotic scene as something straight out of a Western movie with the officer walking around like John Wayne with “one hand on his gun, one hand on his Taser.”
The officer warned the couple that they were trespassing despite the fact that country club staff had given them specific permission to dine. He also said that some fearful members thought Mr. Neijens’ black backpack indicated they were terrorists.
Most laughable if not actually true, is what the officer came out with next when a tearful Ms. Remans asked why terrorists would breastfeed at a ritzy club:
“In Sri Lanka, babies are used by terrorists.”
Well, you learn something new every day, don’t you?
Attention all breastfeeding mothers. Your milk engorged breasts are actually considered weapons of mass destruction by law enforcement authorities. That liquid is NOT food for your baby. It is actually highly explosive material that could detonate at any time, sparking a chain of events identified by the media as bona fide terrorist activity.
Detective Harding quickly backed off his ridiculous posturing when Mr. Neijens revealed his State Department issued identification.
He dismissed his over the top behavior by explaining that the club had received terrorist threats in the past.
Despite the fact that they were doing nothing illegal or improper and possessed proper identification, the couple was still escorted off the premises via the back door.
A few days later, Mr Neijens sent an e-mail demanding an apology from Country Club general manager Tracy Fraus and assistant general manager Audra Vaccari.
“I am deeply worried about your staff if they cannot distinguish between a European couple looking for a quiet place to breast-feed a baby and suicide terrorists carrying a backpack.”
Lt. B.J. Ryan, a spokesman for the Greenburgh Police Department, labeled the incident as a simple “cultural misunderstanding.”
Ahem. On behalf of breastfeeding mothers everywhere, I beg to differ.
Breasts are not “cultural” and there is no “misunderstanding” their true purpose. They are the universal instrument for optimal feeding of babies.
Not “boob grenades”.
Hard to believe the terrorism handbook didn’t cover this point properly.
Sarah, The Healthy Home Economist
Sources:
Belgian diplomat booted from golf club, treated “like terrorists” over wife’s breastfeeding
Couple “treated like terrorists” over breastfeeding and backpack at ritzy restaurant
WTF! crazy americans ???
I feel so fortunate to live and raises babies where we are. My son is 2 and while he hasn’t nursed in public since he was one – not interested anymore in nursing when we were out, I always got thumbs up and encouragement from complete strangers. I was discreet because I used a swaddle blanket or carrier but people who knew, were so thrilled and considered my baby very lucky.
This story is so sad, just like all the others of breastfeeding mothers being harassed.
And I agree with a previous commenter, lets all stand up for one another. If someone is being bullied or harassed, step in and set it right. I will if I ever have a chance!
I am fine with it being done in public, but I do think that modesty has a place here. Some women just want to be in your face about it and that’s wrong. As for her being a terrorist, isn’t everyone who exercises freedom labeled a terrorist by our government; it’s ludacris.
I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER, seen a woman who was “in my face” about nursing her baby. Where is this happening? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think some people just make this stuff up. Feeding a hungry babe is perfectly natural and right. If you don’t like it, don’t look. People are so nosy these days.
I don’t know when it happened that the word “terrorist” has a new meaning these days…. Yup, common sense is a GIFT few of us have; you cannot change stupid but, it can be sedated. ;|
I called the Club to very respectfully say two sentences, basically: “I am very saddened this happened at the Metropolis. You are very busy so I’ll let you get on with your day.” The woman, who had answered the phone very sweetly, muted the phone from what I could tell and then after a long pause hung up. No response.
We live in a world (well, country) where what’s normal is abnormal, what is natural is unnatural. We aren’t living in 2013. We are living in 1984!
I breastfed all of my ( now grown ) children in the mall, restaurants, the library, wherever we happened to be. I learned from attending La Leche League meetings to nurse discreetly. And I taught my kids that breastfeeding is natural and bottle feeding is indecent!
thanks for mentioning ‘the league’; I should have done so. They were immensely supportive and helpful when I was breastfeeding my children (also all grown – eldest daughter is celebrating 40th this year). And I want to confirm that ‘discreet’ is also common sense. I didn’t want to be on display and always nursed in a way that most people didn’t notice. I remember at a family gathering (of prudes) one gentleman asking if he could hold the baby and I had to say ” sure, as soon as I finish feeding her”.
Bottle feeding is indecent? Really. How nice of you. How would you, in your kindness, suggest that I feed my babies, considering my medically non-functioning breasts? Shall I hide myself away so as not to offend your eyes?
Just because some people treat breastfeeding mothers rudely does not give you carte blanche to do the same.
The kind of thing you hope never happens…and can’t believe when it does.
In reading these comments after the article, I’m struck by how many folks think of this as a ‘common sense’ issue….and are surprised by the fundamentalist views around them. What I see is a critical need for us all to wake up to the fact that we are increasingly surrounded by dogma: religious, fanatical, political, ideological….we have put many people in places of power who make decisions based on these perverted views. Presidents, doctors, lawyers, priests, televangelists, entertainers, police, not to speak of mothers and fathers. That breastfeeding could EVER be anything but the most natural wholesome and unquestionable right, and the correct choice for every baby—is a sign of how far down this road we’ve come. We have the American Medical Industrial complex to thank for this. I was raised on ‘formula’ which consisted of Karo syrup and canned milk. The doctors and child-raising ‘experts’ of the time recommended this. We are a tight-assed, fearful, puritanical, Victorian-era culture set against a capitalist nightmare orgy of exploited women and pumped up bodies with blank minds. I wish there were easier answers. It is tempting to talk about ‘common sense’. But I think we’re going to have to be much more ninja about this. REMOVE people who make decisions about the way we are going to live, from places of power. Encourage those who are civil, social, intelligent, nuanced, and educated (and we’re not just talking about school here) to step up to the plate. Step up yourself. Take back our culture, indeed. It’s going to take alot of work…..
I don’t get it- what does sri lanka have to do with white plains? and it’s controversial to have a black backpack?