Why is it that mothers have to constantly battle for their right to breastfeed in public, particularly breastfeeding of toddlers, without being made to feel ashamed?
In the most recent violation of breastfeeding rights, Facebook pulled photos of breastfeeding Moms off the page of Kristi Kemp and locked her out of her account. Facebook has since apologized for its actions and reinstated Ms. Kemp’s page.
Ms. Kemp maintains a Facebook page called “Breastfeeding/Mama Talk” where she helps others overcome the stigma of breastfeeding in public. She herself stopped breastfeeding after only 3 months because she felt embarrassed.
Ms. Kemp explains:
“When I started the page, women kept coming to me saying how embarrassed they were, how ashamed they were to breastfeed in public, and I realized it was a bigger issue than what I even imagined.”
Indeed, women seem to have to constantly battle to breastfeed in public.
Who could forget the 2006 incident where Emily Gillette made national headlines for being booted off a Delta flight because she refused to cover up while breastfeeding her one-year-old daughter?
Breastfeeding can be challenging enough for a new Mom learning the ropes without the disapproval and finger-wagging of a misinformed, squirmy public.
While breastfeeding tiny infants in public seems to be fairly well accepted, the older a child gets, the less tolerant the public becomes should a woman choose to continue nursing.
The Battle for Public Acceptance of Extended Breastfeeding
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of a child’s life and then continuing at least until the child’s first birthday with mother and child maintaining the breastfeeding relationship beyond this point as long as mutually desired.
I personally chose to breastfeed my 3 children well beyond their first birthday, breastfeeding my first two children until about 24 months. My third child self weaned a few months before she turned 4 years old.
I am well aware of the stigma attached to mothers who breastfeed toddlers! More than once I received dirty looks from people while breastfeeding my children in a restaurant or other public place.
One lady went so far as to suggest that I should move to the bathroom to breastfeed. Mmmm. I don’t think so! “Would you like to eat in the bathroom?” I asked testily.
Nursing my children in the bathroom was something I always refused to do, no matter how uncomfortable the folks around me might get. I also refused to use a cover-up when I nursed my children, as it was my experience that this would quickly overheat the child making for an extremely uncomfortable and sometimes sweaty situation. Granted, I live in hot, humid Florida. Covers might be nice for extra warmth in other areas of the world.
I also found cover-ups such a hassle too. What if you forgot to put it back in the diaper bag or left it in the car when you went into the restaurant?
After a few early mishaps, I simply ditched using one altogether.
Even the YMCA, committed to improving the health of families and children, proved to be an unfriendly environment when I was nursing my babies, particularly as they got older. There was absolutely nowhere comfortable to nurse there. Hard, wooden benches with no wall behind them were the only choice in the locker room, so I opted for the benches in the busy and noisy hallway where I could at least lean against a wall while nursing before placing my child in the nursery for a few minutes while I attended a yoga class.
I lobbied on multiple occasions for a comfortable recliner to be placed in the YMCA locker room to give nursing mothers like me a relaxing and quiet place to breastfeed, but was repeatedly shot down by management.
No doubt, if a mother wishes to nurse her child beyond the first few months when her baby is small, she will need to prepare herself mentally for the likely disapproval of a misinformed public that still is not at all accepting of the many benefits of extending the breastfeeding relationship well past a child’s first birthday.
Why Bother to Nurse Beyond the First Year?
About three-quarters of mothers in 2009 chose to initiate breastfeeding after the birth of their baby. Unfortunately, many stop in the ensuing weeks and months for a variety of reasons. By 6 months postpartum, 47% of mothers are still breastfeeding (only 15% of these exclusively as recommended by the AAP) and by 12 months, this figure drops to 25%.
Statistics for the number of women who breastfeed beyond one year in the Western world are nearly non-existent because many mothers are not willing to even admit to extended breastfeeding!
Nursing to age four as proudly demonstrated by supermodel Jamie Lynne Grumet in the controversial Time magazine cover above from May 21, 2012, is extremely rare. According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), however, breastfeeding at that age shouldn’t be rare as there are significant benefits to both Mom and child for continuing breastfeeding well into toddlerhood.
Not only do Mom’s chances of breast cancer continue to diminish the longer she breastfeeds, but the benefits of providing breastmilk to a child who can easily eat and drink other foods instead are threefold:
- Continued immune protection
- Better social adjustment
- Sustainable food source in times of emergency
In fact, the AAFP states that “it has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years” and that despite the public’s perception to the contrary, there is absolutely “no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to mother or child.”
Indeed, breastmilk evolves with the child, continuing to provide what Nature deems most beneficial for that age.
A study published in the journal Pediatrics in 2005 found that the expressed breastmilk of 34 women who were nursing children older than one year had “significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant.”
What Did You Do?
What do you think about extended breastfeeding? Did you choose to practice it yourself or would you if given the opportunity?
If you did practice extended breastfeeding, how long did you nurse your child?
My hope is that by the time my daughter and future daughters-in-law are nursing my grandchildren, there will be a graceful and comfortable acceptance of this natural and healthy practice – and comfortable recliners in the locker rooms of YMCAs and other community facilities around the country to prove it!
Sources
Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breast Milk in Prolonged Lactation
Wish I had time to read all the comments as this was surely already addressed but want to throw in my two cents. I highly support breast feeding but don’t get why so many people feel they should force a very private activity on the general public. I doubt they are rude in any other aspect of their lives. You can nurse and be discreet too. So it’s a little inconvenient, so is waiting till a man is in a bathroom to pee instead of “whipping it out” as some say, on a public tree? You don’t want things forced on you please stop forcing things on me when with a little consideration we can both be accomodated. To say people are not sexually affected by a full breast is beyond naive. It’s a good and healthy thing, not a “hang-up”. But there is a time and place for everything. Peace and Love.
The people who say breastfeeding is disgusting because they associate it with porn or as something sexual – do you realize that you are outing yourselves as perverts? There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding and it is YOUR mind that went there…you’re projecting your own dysfunctional mindset on others, so shame on you.
I am definitely a breast-feeding advocate! It never occurred to me to feed my babies any other way, and I continued for as long as they wanted, which was about 14 months for the first (who I did encourage weaning as I was pregnant again and concerned about having enough energy as the 1st pregnancy had been difficult..), and almost 3 years for the 2nd. This was about 25 years ago, and the only negativity I encountered was a few odd looks, some mildly disapproving comments from family members, and in-laws who couldn’t handle it from day one!
I love to see pictures of breast-feeding mums with their babes, and the only concern I have about them on fb etc, is that unfortunately there are some people out there who might use such photos in unwholesome ways, ie;as sexual stimulation. Horrible to think of, but possible! I know that is not the intention of sites such as the one you spoke of, and the more out there it is, the more it will be tolerated, as it should be…
As a mother of 6, I have spent many months breastfeeding. My oldest, now 20, breastfed for a very short period of time – we had issues and I had no support. My daughter, now 18, breastfed until 5 months of age and then slowly weaned after introducing the bottle. My 15 year old son breastfed until 8 months of age and then slowly weaned after introducing the bottle. My 13 year old daughter breastfed until she was 27 months of age and weaned herself when the flavor changed due to pregnancy. By this time, I was confident as a mom and no longer too concerned with other’s opinions on how I should be parenting. 😎 My 10 year old son breastfed until he was 34 months old and then weaned himself. My youngest, who is adopted, breastfed from 10 – 16 months. While I did have milk for her, I didn’t have a full supply and had to use a supplemental system which I found very inconvenient especially for a mom of many on the go. I was always a discrete breastfeeder but I never left the room to breastfeed privately. I often found myself breastfeeding my babies in the front row of church – the service just happened to be during their morning snack time. 😎 I think too often breasts are viewed sexually via media and this is what has led to people being uncomfortable with the “exposure (though I have never exposed myself anywhere near that extreme).”
I nursed my first until she weaned herself early at 9 months 🙁 No matter what I tried I couldn’t persuade her to continue.
My second self weaned at 18 months which I felt better about. I would have been happy to continue for longer.
To the posters suggesting covering up to be considerate… that is all well and good, but neither of my babes would feed with a cover on. They would either cry or pull it off!
I am all for being considerate to others, but sometimes people have just got get over it. To compare the act of a baby feeding to someone urinating is a bit off. After all breasts were designed to nourish babies!!
If my father who is VERY big on modesty has no problem with it, then neither do I.
Sarah, This post has really got me thinking – about how to start again (RELACTATING). I have a 4yo son whom i breastfed until 15mo. He has a long list of multiple ‘true’ IgE mediated food allergies (Dairy, Egg, Nuts, Wheat, Corn, Soy), chronic constipation, confirmed ‘abnormal gut flora’ & was wondering if going back to breastmilk would be beneficial for him? I wouldn’t physically breastfeed him as such, but would want to express breastmilk for him to drink instead. Any ideas of how to do this, without resorting to pharmaceutical drugs to produce milk again? (It has been 2 1/2 years since i last breastfed my youngest child, who is now almost 3). Any wisdom or further links/reading would be gratefully appreciated. (For the record, we have tested him on raw cow’s, sheep & goats milk with no luck – only had to put a patch on his skin which caused an immediate reaction with hives, so he is truely allergic.) – Wellington, New Zealand
As someone with zero children, I’m all for breastfeeding, and I’m all for breastfeeding beyond the typical time period to do it in. But I don’t understand why women get defensive for getting strange looks when they are nursing without a cover. If you walked into a public place with your husband and saw a woman with her boob hanging out, wouldn’t you be furious and tell her to cover up? Almost every time I’ve seen a baby nursing, he isn’t nursing 100% of the time- he stops, or falls asleep, or even when he is done, you have to remove him, then put your breast back in your shirt. So everyone saw your breast during that time. Its going to make people uncomfortable. I’m guess I’m wondering what you would say to that, and again, I’m only talking to women that breast feed with NO covering.
I breastfeed with no cover because my daughter rips it off, unlatches leaving my breast in view, and then screams if I try to use one. On the other hand when I nurse without a cover you may know what I’m doing but you can’t actually see my breast. For us using a cover is more revealing and makes us both miserable and uncomfortable. When she’s done nursing no one gets a view either. This is all my choice and what my daughter and I feel comfortable with. You might also be interested to know that the only time I got a comment about how disgusting it was that I was breastfeeding in pulic was with my first baby when I had blanket over my shoulder and nothing showed but his feet. She was apparently offended at just the thought of me nursing.
Regardless of how I choose to do it other mothers are different. Even if they choose to cover a little less the purpose is the same. They aren’t looking to flash anyone provacative cleavage, they just want to feed their baby. It’s offensive to have someone stare at you. Just because you aren’t used to seeing the view doesn’t make it socially acceptable to stare. If you saw someone that was had a huge tumor hanging off the side of their face what would you do? I grew up in a small town that did have a woman like I described. From seeing her often and being interested in such things I can tell you how that went. There were nasty rude people that would openly stare or ask her questions about it. Then there were the polite people that looked at her like she was any other human being and controlled their impulse to stare because it’s rude. The children were usually curious and coached by their parents about how to act. Those reactions are the same ones you get when breastfeeding in public. You can choose to be the rude one who stares or the polite one that doesn’t. You can be the parent that is horrified and drags their child away from the “awful” sight or the one who tells their child that it’s rude to stare and explains. None of that has anything to do with the person nursing it’s all about your own reaction to it.
I nursed my now 10 year old for 34 months. I loved doing it. Am proud to have done it. And the very best part….she is sick far less than her peers. Far. Less.
More power to the women who can breast feed for a prolonged period of time! I have one child and due to an extremely bad labour and then birth which resulted in an emergency c-section then major surgery for myself and a whole host of other things afterwards I was unable to breastfeed.. Despite a good recovery, nutrition, nurturing and pumping-pumping-pumping I made the decision with the support from my husband to move to formula..
Breast feeding is totally natural, you feed your child when they are hungry and when they are ready or your body can no longer take feeding you wean.. No-one has the right to judge people or pass their opinion on when they think you should stop breast feeding your child or where you breast feed your child.. Breasts are there to serve a purpose and when feeding your child people should have the common sense to not misconstrue this as ‘flashing’ or being ‘sexual’.
I breastfed my son until he was over 3 years. There were times, especially when he was 2, when I needed to breastfeed in public, and I never had anyone comment negatively. I did try to be discreet, so most people probably didn’t even notice what was going on.