Why is it that mothers have to constantly battle for their right to breastfeed in public, particularly breastfeeding of toddlers, without being made to feel ashamed?
In the most recent violation of breastfeeding rights, Facebook pulled photos of breastfeeding Moms off the page of Kristi Kemp and locked her out of her account. Facebook has since apologized for its actions and reinstated Ms. Kemp’s page.
Ms. Kemp maintains a Facebook page called “Breastfeeding/Mama Talk” where she helps others overcome the stigma of breastfeeding in public. Â She herself stopped breastfeeding after only 3 months because she felt embarrassed.
Ms. Kemp explains:
“When I started the page, women kept coming to me saying how embarrassed they were, how ashamed they were to breastfeed in public, Â and I realized it was a bigger issue than what I even imagined.”
Indeed, women seem to have to constantly battle to breastfeed in public.
Who could forget the 2006 incident where Emily Gillette made national headlines for being booted off a Delta flight because she refused to cover up while breastfeeding her one-year-old daughter?
Breastfeeding can be challenging enough for a new Mom learning the ropes without the disapproval and finger-wagging of a misinformed, squirmy public.
While breastfeeding tiny infants in public seems to be fairly well accepted, the older a child gets, the less tolerant the public becomes should a woman choose to continue nursing.
The Battle for Public Acceptance of Extended Breastfeeding
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of a child’s life and then continuing at least until the child’s first birthday with mother and child maintaining the breastfeeding relationship beyond this point as long as mutually desired.
I personally chose to breastfeed my 3 children well beyond their first birthday, breastfeeding my first two children until about 24 months. Â My third child self weaned a few months before she turned 4 years old.
I am well aware of the stigma attached to mothers who breastfeed toddlers! Â More than once I received dirty looks from people while breastfeeding my children in a restaurant or other public place.
One lady went so far as to suggest that I should move to the bathroom to breastfeed. Â Mmmm. Â I don’t think so! Â “Would you like to eat in the bathroom?” Â I asked testily.
Nursing my children in the bathroom was something I always refused to do, no matter how uncomfortable the folks around me might get. Â I also refused to use a cover-up when I nursed my children, as it was my experience that this would quickly overheat the child making for an extremely uncomfortable and sometimes sweaty situation. Â Granted, I live in hot, humid Florida. Â Covers might be nice for extra warmth in other areas of the world.
I also found cover-ups such a hassle too. Â What if you forgot to put it back in the diaper bag or left it in the car when you went into the restaurant?
After a few early mishaps, I simply ditched using one altogether.
Even the YMCA, committed to improving the health of families and children, proved to be an unfriendly environment when I was nursing my babies, particularly as they got older. Â There was absolutely nowhere comfortable to nurse there. Â Hard, wooden benches with no wall behind them were the only choice in the locker room, so I opted for the benches in the busy and noisy hallway where I could at least lean against a wall while nursing before placing my child in the nursery for a few minutes while I attended a yoga class.
I lobbied on multiple occasions for a comfortable recliner to be placed in the YMCA locker room to give nursing mothers like me a relaxing and quiet place to breastfeed, but was repeatedly shot down by management.
No doubt, if a mother wishes to nurse her child beyond the first few months when her baby is small, she will need to prepare herself mentally for the likely disapproval of a misinformed public that still is not at all accepting of the many benefits of extending the breastfeeding relationship well past a child’s first birthday.
Why Bother to Nurse Beyond the First Year?
About three-quarters of mothers in 2009 chose to initiate breastfeeding after the birth of their baby. Unfortunately, many stop in the ensuing weeks and months for a variety of reasons. Â By 6 months postpartum, 47% of mothers are still breastfeeding (only 15% of these exclusively as recommended by the AAP) and by 12 months, this figure drops to 25%.
Statistics for the number of women who breastfeed beyond one year in the Western world are nearly non-existent because many mothers are not willing to even admit to extended breastfeeding!
Nursing to age four as proudly demonstrated by supermodel Jamie Lynne Grumet in the controversial Time magazine cover above from May 21, 2012, is extremely rare. Â According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), however, breastfeeding at that age shouldn’t be rare as there are significant benefits to both Mom and child for continuing breastfeeding well into toddlerhood.
Not only do Mom’s chances of breast cancer continue to diminish the longer she breastfeeds, but the benefits of providing breastmilk to a child who can easily eat and drink other foods instead are threefold:
- Continued immune protection
- Better social adjustment
- Sustainable food source in times of emergency
In fact, the AAFP states that “it has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years” and that despite the public’s perception to the contrary, there is absolutely “no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to mother or child.”
Indeed, breastmilk evolves with the child, continuing to provide what Nature deems most beneficial for that age.
A study published in the journal Pediatrics in 2005 found that the expressed breastmilk of 34 women who were nursing children older than one year had “significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant.”
What Did You Do?
What do you think about extended breastfeeding? Â Did you choose to practice it yourself or would you if given the opportunity?
If you did practice extended breastfeeding, how long did you nurse your child?
My hope is that by the time my daughter and future daughters-in-law are nursing my grandchildren, there will be a graceful and comfortable acceptance of this natural and healthy practice – and comfortable recliners in the locker rooms of YMCAs and other community facilities around the country to prove it!
Sources
Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breast Milk in Prolonged Lactation
I have two boys, 4 and 7 now. I breastfed them until they naturally weaned at 28 months and 32 months. When they were around 18 months the frequency they were nursing had been reduced to morning, nap time and night. We slept together. This pattern was constant until the day they told me: “I don’t want your milk any more”.
From my experience I can say that extended breastfeeding is natural. Children will nurse while they need it. When they are ready to stop they will let you now and both mother and child will be ready to take this step.
Thank you Sarah for your wonderrful blog.
I am a young mother of 2 babys, 12 months apart. And noooo punlic feeding here. I think its extremely inconsiderate of mothers to not cover themselves. Ill feed in some public places but i always cover. And if a child is old enough to talk….and say lets go feed….no way. My youngest is almost 9 months and half way weaned. Ye, maybe. Bit too early, but I chose to go this route for a few reasons. But about feedong uncovered…would you show yourself if ur not feeding? No. Then why show? Awkward. Sorry ladies…it doesnt make sense to me why you wojldnt cover
I’ve nursed both my two children for 8 years combined. I was never nursed myself and have suffered with many health problems. My asthma started at age 2 and I’ve been on serious med’s for 39 years. I knew the benefits of extended breastfeeding, but never knew I’d still be nursing my 5 year old. It is not something you plan, or can project into the future. It is a process that unfolds between the mother and child. My daughter is nearing the end of our nursing relationship and I feel blessed that I was able to give her this special gift for so long.
Here are some articles that might help:
http://melissaneece.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-mans-christian-view-on-public.html
and
http://melissaneece.blogspot.com/2010/06/nursing-in-public-my-belief-system.html
and
I think this article can definitely be applied to public breastfeeding:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2012/12/modesty-body-policing-and-rape-culture-connecting-the-dots/
We don’t have any children yet, but I plan to breastfeed on demand even if it’s in public when we do because of the benefits. That and I learned a little trick from my older cousin who has two beautiful breast-fed girls. Rather than using a huge(!) nursing cover, she would feed over the top of her shirt and if SHE felt she needed to cover a bit more, she would use a wash cloth/ burp cloth over the top her breast so it didn’t impede the feeding or overheat the two of them. Super easy.
Also, for all the nay-sayers out there, did you know that even in conservative Islam, totally covered women are allowed to expose their breasts while feeding their children? It’s acceptable because they are instructed breast feed until age two at least. So in a religion that a good chunk of the Western world considers oppressive to women allows for more breastfeeding freedom than the US. Seems odd to me.
Happy to see there are many Moms doing extended breastfeeding. My daughter will be 3 in 4 months and still nurses. At this point it’s mostly at home, when we’re out in public she’s usually too busy to want to nurse. Thankfully we’ve never had a bad situation when nursing in public.
I’m currently breastfeeding my 15 month old. I stopped nursing my oldest at 15 months because I was young and made to feel ashamed (by my doctor and ex in-laws) of my decision to still nursing him. My goal with this little one is to make it until she’s at least two years old and we’ll see from there. I’ve already been told that my current goal of two years is “just crazy”.
This is my fourth baby and the only one that flat out refused to let me cover her with a blanket from a few months old. I decided that it made more of a scene to use it then to go uncovered the day that I almost flashed someone because she ripped the cover off and unlatched to yell in protest. I position my shirt so that nothing shows because that is what we are comfortable with. Now that she’s obviously older I’m starting to get looks when I nurse in public. I don’t care. I will do what is right for us and as far as I’m concerned anyone who doesn’t like seeing it has the option to turn their head if they feel uncomfortable.
My daughter has a corn intolerance and has very few safe solid foods at this point. I’m hoping that nursing longer might benefit her gut flora and help her heal. I’m not going to deny her nursing while we’re out in public to appease other people. Breastmilk is one of those few safe foods she has and I refuse to hide or justify my decision to nurse past one year to ignorant strangers.
I breastfed my first daughter until 1 week before her 4th birthday. I did begin to feel awkward nursing her in public when she was 3 and I was pregnant with my 2nd child. I tandem nursed them both for 8 months, and then nursed my son until my 3rd child was around 3 months old, when he was around 27 months. I’m now only nursing my 3rd child, who turns 1 tomorrow!
Breastfeeding is one of the most beneficial things we can do to begin to heal our society. I believe that breastfeeding in public is not only a right but also a service, to show people how beautiful and natural it really is. I loved breastfeeding in public, making eye contact and smiling at those who noticed, or looking lovingly in my baby’s eyes when I felt the stare of an uncomfortable stranger. Bravo to moms who are overcoming society’s obstacles to do what is natural, instinctual, and more supportive of life than most of the things people are engaging in in public!
Adrienne Carmack, MD
Physician & Birth Rights Advocate
Hi Adrienne, I just ran into your comment. I am BF my 14 month old baby and I hope I can continue for as long as he needs it, but also would like to get pregnant again. How was your experience practicing extended BF and being pregnant> I even thought you couldn’t get pregnant while BF.
Thanks!
I’ve been following this blog for quite a while, and this is my first comment. 🙂
I am single and do not have children yet. I have watched my Mom breast feed my 7 younger siblings all my life. But I had no idea you could breast for more than 2 years. That’s rather exciting!
I had read Pottenger’s Cats, and I seem to recall that children who were breast fed had better developed jaws and faces. So it would seem that children not only benefit from the nutrition of extended breast feeding, but also their facial structures.
As to breast feeding in public, right now I would very much be in favor of the cover till society gets used to the idea of public breast feeding. The idea is to win people over, not make them mad. I’ve been to Peru where women would “whip it out” right in public and even balance a baby while pushing the grocery cart. Because we just weren’t used to seeing it in public, it did make me and the American guys in my group feel a little awkward uncomfortable. But there are situations where we’ve had women breast feed during church service with a cover and nobody has had a problem with it.
Those are my thoughts.
I love these articles! No one has come up to me to say anything about my nip, luckily. My dad gets a little ruddy about it, especially if I nurse “over the top” instead of pulling my shirt up. I also haven’t been using a cover since only a few months old; my daughter was born in April and it was way too hot in the summer to use a cover. Not to mention, she always has loved looking around! It took a while to really be comfortable in public, but now I couldn’t care less. Only place I’ll confine myself to another room for someone else’s sake is if I visit a school. Been going strong for 2 years, and my daughter’s starting to wean herself now. Only night weaned her against her will, because I’m 4 months pregnant and need to sleep. Otherwise, wouldn’t even have done that much!