Why is it that mothers have to constantly battle for their right to breastfeed in public, particularly breastfeeding of toddlers, without being made to feel ashamed?
In the most recent violation of breastfeeding rights, Facebook pulled photos of breastfeeding Moms off the page of Kristi Kemp and locked her out of her account. Facebook has since apologized for its actions and reinstated Ms. Kemp’s page.
Ms. Kemp maintains a Facebook page called “Breastfeeding/Mama Talk” where she helps others overcome the stigma of breastfeeding in public. Â She herself stopped breastfeeding after only 3 months because she felt embarrassed.
Ms. Kemp explains:
“When I started the page, women kept coming to me saying how embarrassed they were, how ashamed they were to breastfeed in public, Â and I realized it was a bigger issue than what I even imagined.”
Indeed, women seem to have to constantly battle to breastfeed in public.
Who could forget the 2006 incident where Emily Gillette made national headlines for being booted off a Delta flight because she refused to cover up while breastfeeding her one-year-old daughter?
Breastfeeding can be challenging enough for a new Mom learning the ropes without the disapproval and finger-wagging of a misinformed, squirmy public.
While breastfeeding tiny infants in public seems to be fairly well accepted, the older a child gets, the less tolerant the public becomes should a woman choose to continue nursing.
The Battle for Public Acceptance of Extended Breastfeeding
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of a child’s life and then continuing at least until the child’s first birthday with mother and child maintaining the breastfeeding relationship beyond this point as long as mutually desired.
I personally chose to breastfeed my 3 children well beyond their first birthday, breastfeeding my first two children until about 24 months. Â My third child self weaned a few months before she turned 4 years old.
I am well aware of the stigma attached to mothers who breastfeed toddlers! Â More than once I received dirty looks from people while breastfeeding my children in a restaurant or other public place.
One lady went so far as to suggest that I should move to the bathroom to breastfeed. Â Mmmm. Â I don’t think so! Â “Would you like to eat in the bathroom?” Â I asked testily.
Nursing my children in the bathroom was something I always refused to do, no matter how uncomfortable the folks around me might get. Â I also refused to use a cover-up when I nursed my children, as it was my experience that this would quickly overheat the child making for an extremely uncomfortable and sometimes sweaty situation. Â Granted, I live in hot, humid Florida. Â Covers might be nice for extra warmth in other areas of the world.
I also found cover-ups such a hassle too. Â What if you forgot to put it back in the diaper bag or left it in the car when you went into the restaurant?
After a few early mishaps, I simply ditched using one altogether.
Even the YMCA, committed to improving the health of families and children, proved to be an unfriendly environment when I was nursing my babies, particularly as they got older. Â There was absolutely nowhere comfortable to nurse there. Â Hard, wooden benches with no wall behind them were the only choice in the locker room, so I opted for the benches in the busy and noisy hallway where I could at least lean against a wall while nursing before placing my child in the nursery for a few minutes while I attended a yoga class.
I lobbied on multiple occasions for a comfortable recliner to be placed in the YMCA locker room to give nursing mothers like me a relaxing and quiet place to breastfeed, but was repeatedly shot down by management.
No doubt, if a mother wishes to nurse her child beyond the first few months when her baby is small, she will need to prepare herself mentally for the likely disapproval of a misinformed public that still is not at all accepting of the many benefits of extending the breastfeeding relationship well past a child’s first birthday.
Why Bother to Nurse Beyond the First Year?
About three-quarters of mothers in 2009 chose to initiate breastfeeding after the birth of their baby. Unfortunately, many stop in the ensuing weeks and months for a variety of reasons. Â By 6 months postpartum, 47% of mothers are still breastfeeding (only 15% of these exclusively as recommended by the AAP) and by 12 months, this figure drops to 25%.
Statistics for the number of women who breastfeed beyond one year in the Western world are nearly non-existent because many mothers are not willing to even admit to extended breastfeeding!
Nursing to age four as proudly demonstrated by supermodel Jamie Lynne Grumet in the controversial Time magazine cover above from May 21, 2012, is extremely rare. Â According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), however, breastfeeding at that age shouldn’t be rare as there are significant benefits to both Mom and child for continuing breastfeeding well into toddlerhood.
Not only do Mom’s chances of breast cancer continue to diminish the longer she breastfeeds, but the benefits of providing breastmilk to a child who can easily eat and drink other foods instead are threefold:
- Continued immune protection
- Better social adjustment
- Sustainable food source in times of emergency
In fact, the AAFP states that “it has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years” and that despite the public’s perception to the contrary, there is absolutely “no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to mother or child.”
Indeed, breastmilk evolves with the child, continuing to provide what Nature deems most beneficial for that age.
A study published in the journal Pediatrics in 2005 found that the expressed breastmilk of 34 women who were nursing children older than one year had “significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant.”
What Did You Do?
What do you think about extended breastfeeding? Â Did you choose to practice it yourself or would you if given the opportunity?
If you did practice extended breastfeeding, how long did you nurse your child?
My hope is that by the time my daughter and future daughters-in-law are nursing my grandchildren, there will be a graceful and comfortable acceptance of this natural and healthy practice – and comfortable recliners in the locker rooms of YMCAs and other community facilities around the country to prove it!
Sources
Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breast Milk in Prolonged Lactation
I nursed my son until age 2 he chose to wean and my daughter and I are still going strong at 15 months she’ll nurse every 4 hours still. I feel no need and no shame to stop her.
Yes ! I live in Paris and it is even worse. Moms usually stop breastfeeding at three months. My daughter is almost 2 and I see no point in weaning her until she is ready.
After caving to pressure from well meaning relatives and introducing formula to my son at just 10 weeks, I was determined to breastfeed my daughter exclusively. It definitely was a case of ‘be careful what you wish for,’ as at 2.5, she was still feeding up to a dozen times a day, and at 3.5 she still nurses herself to sleep. I am incensed at suggestions to feed a baby in a bathroom and thankfully was never asked. I would never feed my child in the bathroom, much less a filthy public toilet. I also never used a cover-up, as neither child would nurse underneath one. I imagine it would be dark, hot and isolating. I frankly don’t get the furore over public breastfeeding. Breasts were meant for feeding babies. If you are so sensitive as to be offended by a mother feeding her child as nature intended, then you can easily look away. The baby’s head covers the breast, so nothing is exposed anyway. That being said, I haven’t felt comfortable feeding my daughter in public since she was approaching two, though I continue to feed her in front of my husband and son, and even my parents-in-law on occasion. She does stick her hand down my top in public if she’s very tired or fussy, so others have asked if she’s still breastfeeding. Most have a relative or friend who has breastfed well past the current norm, and are supportive. “Extended” breastfeeding definitely has been beneficial, as my daughter never gets sick, and others frequently comment on how happy, confident and active she is.
Also, for those struggling with milk production, fenugreek capsules and co-sleeping do wonders!
I breastfed my first baby with very little success, I had a breast reduction at 18 years old which made my milk production very low. I was able to nurse her for three months with some supplementing but after a few months she just wouldn’t nurse. It was heartbreaking for me. My second child is almost ten months old and still nursing! I’m so proud after struggling so much the first time.
For nursing in public I have found using a baby carrier to be the best way to “cover up”. I use the Ergo Baby and my daughter comfortably nurses whenever, wherever we go.
I would like to add that my milk production was improved so much with the last baby, that I was able to pump and nurse in tandem during the morning feeding. Once I had a small supply saved up for emergencies (in case I had to be at the hospital with #5), I began feeding the extra milk to #5. I can’t say we noticed any major difference, but I felt like he was getting some healthy nutrition.
My last child was the only one to nurse beyond one year. 1)Weaned himself at 9 months because I had terrible milk production. 2) Thought I was going to have to go to work. Pumping was not successful, so weaned at four months. When I didn’t have to go back, she wouldn’t nurse. I was so sad. 3&4) Tragically, these were both miscarriages. 5) Was born at 28 weeks and suffered a severe brain bleed. Bought a $400 pump which worked fairly well, but was a major source of stress. I’m crying just remembering. We were told that he would never be able to eat by mouth, but he eventually did, although he had to use a bottle. We avoided having to get a G-tube put in for 13 months. I was able to pump enough milk for him to get it for the first 6 months. 6) After missing out on breast feeding 3 babies in a row, I was ready to nurse as long as possible, but he only went 18 months. Don’t take your ability to nurse for granted. It isn’t just a right, it is a gift.
I currently nurse my 19 month old daughter whenever she asks. Up until a couple months ago I nursed wherever and whenever she needed it – in restaurants, on planes (multiple times), at the park, in the car, etc. I would usually cover up with a scarf. It made me feel more comfortable (and stylish :)). Now I usually wait until we get home or I’ll nurse her in the back seat of the car. She is very verbal and very attached to nursing, which has resulted in some funny instances, like her shouting “Nurse! Boobies!” while waiting on line at Macy’s. Slightly embarrassing but more funny than anything. I love breastfeeding and plan on continuing for as long as my darling girl wants!
40 years agoI breast fed my child until 2 yrs old, the first year essentially was breast milk only with a bit of fruit and then vegis introduced and the 2nd year transitioned slowly into food and milk. I read a book back then that correlated the life span of animals in the wild and the length of access in mother’s milk. In an ideal world a human animal would breast feed only mother’s milk 2 yrs. and transition with milk and food 1 yr. I decided I would try it but with a 2yr timeframe. Most pediatricians of the time would have thought I was crazy. I worked with a leading edge pediatrician and a chiropractor who had a degree in nutrition.
The more people who breastfeed toddlers in public, the more normal it will become. I am currently breastfeeding my 2 year old. I feed in public if he demands and it’s usually because he’s very tired or needs milk because we’re out and he didn’t want to eat the food I packed. I don’t bother with a cover – it says ‘I’m breastfeeding’ and looks weird with a toddler. I just discreetly feed and he’s pretty quick. Mostly looks like I’m just cuddling him. He’s happier with mommy milk and I’m satisfied that he’s gotten something good – particularly if we’re away from home without access to the fridge. I liked reading all the extended breastfeeding comments. I’ve been tossing up whether to make him wean. From this blog I’m thinking to just let him wean in his time.