Why is it that mothers have to constantly battle for their right to breastfeed in public, particularly breastfeeding of toddlers, without being made to feel ashamed?
In the most recent violation of breastfeeding rights, Facebook pulled photos of breastfeeding Moms off the page of Kristi Kemp and locked her out of her account. Facebook has since apologized for its actions and reinstated Ms. Kemp’s page.
Ms. Kemp maintains a Facebook page called “Breastfeeding/Mama Talk” where she helps others overcome the stigma of breastfeeding in public. Â She herself stopped breastfeeding after only 3 months because she felt embarrassed.
Ms. Kemp explains:
“When I started the page, women kept coming to me saying how embarrassed they were, how ashamed they were to breastfeed in public, Â and I realized it was a bigger issue than what I even imagined.”
Indeed, women seem to have to constantly battle to breastfeed in public.
Who could forget the 2006 incident where Emily Gillette made national headlines for being booted off a Delta flight because she refused to cover up while breastfeeding her one-year-old daughter?
Breastfeeding can be challenging enough for a new Mom learning the ropes without the disapproval and finger-wagging of a misinformed, squirmy public.
While breastfeeding tiny infants in public seems to be fairly well accepted, the older a child gets, the less tolerant the public becomes should a woman choose to continue nursing.
The Battle for Public Acceptance of Extended Breastfeeding
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of a child’s life and then continuing at least until the child’s first birthday with mother and child maintaining the breastfeeding relationship beyond this point as long as mutually desired.
I personally chose to breastfeed my 3 children well beyond their first birthday, breastfeeding my first two children until about 24 months. Â My third child self weaned a few months before she turned 4 years old.
I am well aware of the stigma attached to mothers who breastfeed toddlers! Â More than once I received dirty looks from people while breastfeeding my children in a restaurant or other public place.
One lady went so far as to suggest that I should move to the bathroom to breastfeed. Â Mmmm. Â I don’t think so! Â “Would you like to eat in the bathroom?” Â I asked testily.
Nursing my children in the bathroom was something I always refused to do, no matter how uncomfortable the folks around me might get. Â I also refused to use a cover-up when I nursed my children, as it was my experience that this would quickly overheat the child making for an extremely uncomfortable and sometimes sweaty situation. Â Granted, I live in hot, humid Florida. Â Covers might be nice for extra warmth in other areas of the world.
I also found cover-ups such a hassle too. Â What if you forgot to put it back in the diaper bag or left it in the car when you went into the restaurant?
After a few early mishaps, I simply ditched using one altogether.
Even the YMCA, committed to improving the health of families and children, proved to be an unfriendly environment when I was nursing my babies, particularly as they got older. Â There was absolutely nowhere comfortable to nurse there. Â Hard, wooden benches with no wall behind them were the only choice in the locker room, so I opted for the benches in the busy and noisy hallway where I could at least lean against a wall while nursing before placing my child in the nursery for a few minutes while I attended a yoga class.
I lobbied on multiple occasions for a comfortable recliner to be placed in the YMCA locker room to give nursing mothers like me a relaxing and quiet place to breastfeed, but was repeatedly shot down by management.
No doubt, if a mother wishes to nurse her child beyond the first few months when her baby is small, she will need to prepare herself mentally for the likely disapproval of a misinformed public that still is not at all accepting of the many benefits of extending the breastfeeding relationship well past a child’s first birthday.
Why Bother to Nurse Beyond the First Year?
About three-quarters of mothers in 2009 chose to initiate breastfeeding after the birth of their baby. Unfortunately, many stop in the ensuing weeks and months for a variety of reasons. Â By 6 months postpartum, 47% of mothers are still breastfeeding (only 15% of these exclusively as recommended by the AAP) and by 12 months, this figure drops to 25%.
Statistics for the number of women who breastfeed beyond one year in the Western world are nearly non-existent because many mothers are not willing to even admit to extended breastfeeding!
Nursing to age four as proudly demonstrated by supermodel Jamie Lynne Grumet in the controversial Time magazine cover above from May 21, 2012, is extremely rare. Â According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), however, breastfeeding at that age shouldn’t be rare as there are significant benefits to both Mom and child for continuing breastfeeding well into toddlerhood.
Not only do Mom’s chances of breast cancer continue to diminish the longer she breastfeeds, but the benefits of providing breastmilk to a child who can easily eat and drink other foods instead are threefold:
- Continued immune protection
- Better social adjustment
- Sustainable food source in times of emergency
In fact, the AAFP states that “it has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years” and that despite the public’s perception to the contrary, there is absolutely “no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to mother or child.”
Indeed, breastmilk evolves with the child, continuing to provide what Nature deems most beneficial for that age.
A study published in the journal Pediatrics in 2005 found that the expressed breastmilk of 34 women who were nursing children older than one year had “significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant.”
What Did You Do?
What do you think about extended breastfeeding? Â Did you choose to practice it yourself or would you if given the opportunity?
If you did practice extended breastfeeding, how long did you nurse your child?
My hope is that by the time my daughter and future daughters-in-law are nursing my grandchildren, there will be a graceful and comfortable acceptance of this natural and healthy practice – and comfortable recliners in the locker rooms of YMCAs and other community facilities around the country to prove it!
Sources
Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breast Milk in Prolonged Lactation
When I became pregnant with our oldest daughter, I knew I would breastfeed. After a wonderful natural birth and great latch on technique I thought we were good to go! After weeks of practice at home with an adequate coverup and all the recommended nursing attire, we were ready for our first night out as a family. I, of course nursed before we left home, but the moment we settled into our table, little Anna would only be consoled by the breast. Fearing the public’s reaction, I was shrouded from neck to waist. Within a few minutes the man sitting at the table less than 2 feet away began to discuss how “inappropriate” and “disgusting” it was for “people to be doing that”! I wish I would have had the courage to say the same about the sleeveless white tank top he was wearing on his obese body! Since then, I never miss a chance to encourage mothers breastfeeding in public that she is making the best choice for her family and that it’s worth it.
Facebook seems to have it out for natural birth and breast feeding support pages.
That child is too old to be breast feeding!! That is bordering on porn!
Okay, like another woman, I haven’t shared this often…maybe never. I nursed all three of my natural born children for a long time. Realize that my ‘baby’ is now 25. My first nursed over a year with some issues and supplemental bottles. The second nursed until she was almost six years old. It is easy now to see the benefits…she had a speech impediment at the time…after 5.5 yrs. we noticed one night at the dinner table that the issue was gone. we knew then that it was totally right that we nursed her that long. the third nursed until she was 3+. I never regret any of the time that I nursed my babies. they also slept with us while nursing and very young to make it easy on me. I did cover up in public…probably for my benefit rather than others’. It was a wonderful time in my life and I wouldn’t have given it up for anything…both for their benefit and mine. thanks for the great blog, Sarah
I do think the commercial(don’t know for which product) where the woman is nursing her first trying desperately to cover up and looks harried…cut to nursing her second baby and she looks completely put together, the waiter comes and she nicely(sarcastically) tells him to get his eyes up to hers….is a really funny example.
By mutual agreement, our daughter had her last breastfed on the morning of her 6th birthday. By that time, she only remembered to ask for the breast once or twice a week at most. I decided very early that weaning would be at her pace. I demand fed and until she was about 18 months old was unconcerned about where I fed her. However, once people started to make negative comments about how she was “too old” to still be breastfeeding I decided to be more circumspect about where I nursed her. I was concerned that the disapproval of others would impact her comfort with breastfeeding and cause her to wean earlier than she otherwise might have. I was also aware that I had no right to make others uncomfortable with our, at the time (20+ years ago), extremely unconventional attitude. The older she became the less people knew that she breastfed. Not because we were embarrassed. It was simply easier to avoid the conflict that her continued breastfeeding seemed to precipitate.
I live in Brisbane, Australia. I breastfed my first baby 3 years. I weaned him then because I got pregnant and nursing became really painful for the nipples, but he was ready anyway. He was happy to cuddle them instead 🙂 I don’t remember to have had negative comments from strangers, but I did have those from friends and family. I was always trying to emphasize that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until 2 years and beyond. But I don’t really care what people say. Now I’m happily nursing my 4 months old daugther 🙂
Sarah, I love your blog and have followed you for a long time!! I am all for breast feeding for as long as possible but I do think women should cover up in public!!! It is only respectful!!! We don’t need to see all the boob but the nipple along with the stomach etc….. Cover up people!!!
I have 6 children, and have happily breastfed everyone of them, and in public as often as necessary, and for as many months/years as worked for both baby and me.
That said, there is a level of discretion that should be practiced by the nursing mother, no matter the age of her nursing baby. If you would not flash a nipple at a stranger on an average day, why do it when nursing? Yes, the benefits for the child outweigh the stigma of breast feeding. That still does not mean that you ought go to a public place, and flash your breast, just because your child is hungry. Breast feeding is not shameful, but should be done tastefully (no pun unintended!). Our breasts have a purpose, to feed our children. We should not be a spectacle for everyone else.
With discretion ladies, please, but not with shame.
Nurse on!!!
I breast fed each if my three boys until they were well past two years old. It didn’t bother me and if it bothered anyone we knew, they didn’t say so. I always fed in public until they were over a year and a half and that was simply because by that time they didn’t fit on my lap very well,making nursing in public awkward and they only nursed when about to go down for a nap or to bed or when hurt. It didn’t happen much, as a result. They all sorta self-weaned because I waited until they were nursing exclusively at bedtime and then I told each that in two weeks Mama would run out of milk, just like juice in the fridge. It was no big deal. As for being embarrassed in public, I wore comfy tops I could just pull up to nurse…you couldn’t see my breasts, why would I be embarrassed? An older woman friend of mine told me she was normally uncomfortable around women breast feeding because they were so exposed. It wasn’t the feeding part…it was seeing someone’s whole boob. Lol. I can’t blame her for that, that is a bit intimate. She didn’t even know I was nursing my son because it looked like I was just holding him. Covers were a pain, so I learned to nurse, stay relatively modest and all was well. Breast feeding was one thing among innumerable things that I did and do for my children. I don’t really get the drama around it…it is just a meal.
An extremely good friend was shocked when I said I was stil breast feeding my 20 month old daughter. She exclaimed “Are you serious?? Well, that’s f&*king disgusting!!!!”.